When One Epiphany Changes Everything

One epiphany can change a child's life. The challenge that follows such an epiphany is often going through the grief cycle with yourself, whether you had the epiphany as the child's parent or a professional who works with them. You process the epiphany all while trying to forgive yourself for not realizing it sooner, being angry with every professional who did not catch it sooner, so on and so forth. This process is natural and understandable, but whatever your inner dialogue may be, it is important that there is celebration too. An epiphany that has the potential to change a child's life deserves to be celebrated. Often the pieces have to fall in place in the right way at the right time before revelations can be had, so give yourself grace in these moments and be proud of what is to come.

We recently celebrated such an experience at UnmaskEd that was so moving, I just have to share it. Thanks to the love, diligence, advocacy, and collaboration of one parent and her partnership with us, we both had the "ah-ha" moment together.

Rapport is Essential

Progress can look different for every child and their family, and educational therapy is no exception to this. Everyone's journey looks a bit different. Some students need only a couple of months of sessions to meet their goals. Some students have a variety of academic needs that can take longer. Some families use educational therapy for a while before transitioning to caregiver coaching or advocacy services. Our favorite though is when families utilize educational therapy, advocacy, and caregiver coaching services all at once. When UnmaskEd is actively working with a student, their parents, and their school simultaneously-- magic can happen. That was the case of the client who we recently celebrated the "ah-ha" moment with.

The parents brought the student to me the summer before the student started middle school. The student is autistic and on an IEP. The parents wanted them evaluated in all areas to identify academic skills to be worked on in educational therapy as well as to get a second opinion on their IEP goals. After a few weeks of evaluation sessions, I determined their goals were appropriate as well as several academic areas we could work on.

At UnmaskEd, evaluation sessions have a heavy focus on rapport building which means some sessions become more relationship than academic focused than others. Really, we begin following the child's lead to make sure their needs are met before any assessment is even started. Rapport building never stops. They key to success at UnmaskEd is for our clients to genuinely enjoy spending an hour of their week with us. Trust is everything. No matter how long we have worked with a client, we are always nurturing our relationship and checking in on how our students are feeling.

About halfway through this student's evaluation, we hit our first speed bump. The student became distressed when given math work that was lower level than what was described as their ability level in their IEP. The distress was unexpected, as I was still getting to know the student and the previous weeks of evaluation had gone so smoothly. This is when I took a pause with the student, worked on co-regulating, and worked with them to identify what the sticky point was. Up until this point, the student had been open to trying new things, was able to

communicate their needs and preferences, and had a positive attitude. During this moment though, they were escalated and shutting down-- unable to communicate what was making them anxious. Since I was still getting to know the client and was having trouble zooming out to see the full picture, and the client was unable to help me see it, I went out to the waiting room and recruited their mom for assistance.

Mom came in and went right to work communicating with her child, trying to understand what was bothering them. Still the most we could get was that math is hard. Then she pivoted to what they needed to feel regulated, and when the student said they would feel better if math was done, she held the expectation that math needed to be done and encouraged them to try their best and not give up. This is where I rejoined the conversation, offering to model solving a few problems with no expectation on the student other than watching me. They agreed, and "cookie math" was born.

I modeled addition using dots for counting. I circled a group of dots and said "oh that looks like a cookie" and I immediately saw a glimmer in the student's eye that I had caught their attention. By then end of the session, they were verbally completing addition problems, with me writing it out for them on our whiteboard. Two sessions later we were using "cookie math" for multiplication, division, and adding fractions. One moment of noticing the clients interest and running with it (ie. following their lead) was a huge moment of rapport building for us and set the stage for our following sessions. Cookie math evolved into all sorts of food-themed math crafts and sensory activities.

Shortly into the new school year, the client was engaging in off task and work avoidant behaviors at school. These behaviors were not typical for them in elementary school, but is common for students after transitioning to middle school. Their mom and I began problem solving together-- exploring different causes and accommodation options. We considered that it might just take time to adjust to having so many teachers. We both spoke with the student to better. understand why they were "refusing" to work at school. Their special education teacher's theory was that task refusal was caused by the student not eating their lunch.

The Epiphany

But then mom considered vision issues. She researched and tried an at-home screener for double vision. When they seemed to have double vision, she made an appointment to have their vision formally assessed. In the meantime, she shared her concerns wit both UnmaskEd and their school. The parent even noticed that most of UnmaskEd's art projects (which have now evolved from cookies to all different food themes) were in line with vision accommodations she had been researching. With that input, I leaned into the theory and tried some new things. The school did not, which is understandable in that they typically do not experiment with accommodations for a disability that they have not been determined eligible for...but as a result, the student was continuing to be labeled as "work avoidant."

Math pancakes made with multi-sensory materials. The pancake stack expands to reveal division equations and student work.

After meeting with their school case manager, the school agreed to send incomplete work home with the student so I could problem solve with them during our sessions. The client was confirmed by the optometrist as having double vision. Our very next session, after completing our long division math pancakes, I took a look at their incomplete work folder while the client engaged in a high interest, regulating activity. I only had to look at the first assignment to see potential red flags. After ensuring the client that I was not going to make them do any schoolwork, I asked if they could read some of the full page, small print passage aloud to me. They immediately became stressed, saying they couldn't do it. Knowing their reading level was higher than this particular passage, I followed my hunch. The student understood that I was working to problem solve with them to make school more accessible for them. I removed the request to read the passage and they resumed their regulating activity.

I turned to my tiny, unreliable, printer and hoped it would be kind to me. I managed to successfully scan, enlarge, and reprint the passage. I held both copies up for the client and asked "which is easier to see?" They again became stressed and said neither because of their double vision.

I put the original copy out of sight and put the enlarged version in front of them and asked them to read it. Again, stress.

I grabbed two pieces of black construction paper from our craft supplies, isolated the first passage line and said, "how about now?" Instant relief. I wish I had the words to describe the surprise and delight on their face as they said "Wow! That is so much better!" And just like that, their life could be forever changed.

I immediately went to tell their mom in the waiting area. I wish I had the words to describe the relief on mom's face too. She went quickly through a range of emotions-- the relief of validation, the guilt of not recognizing vision issues sooner, appreciation of such and easy accommodation, curiosity of next steps, and pride in their child. But what stood out was when she said through her tears, "Wow. It is that easy."

Presume Competence and Always Ask Why

Double vision is not easy to catch, especially in a child who may not always have the language to describe their experience, or who may experience double vision as their normal and so they don't think to mention it to an adult. It also makes sense that there was an observable behavior change in middle school, as text size tends to be smaller and passages more dense. Now that the student has the language to describe what they are experiencing they can advocate for themselves more effectively, and those of us supporting them can get to work identifying helpful accommodations and strategies moving forward.

If it were not for their parent's discovery, the student may have gone through life struggling to read and access so many environments. This challenge, that in this case is so easy to accommodate, would have caused so much continued frustration for the student. Now the sky is the limit for their potential. After walking their mom through next steps to get proper supports at school, sitting with her as she emailed a formal request for a re-evaluation at school with vision assessments, I rejoined the student who was still beaming with pride. I sent them home with the pieces of construction paper so they can provide their own accommodations in the meantime as we work with their school to get formal ones put in place.

I emailed his school team with the great news and recommendations that came from that day's session and went home happy. On my drive all I could l think of was the impact this would have on their life. If we accepted the behavior change at face value, their mental health would struggle, their grades would suffer, and their access to college and work in the future would be greatly impacted. Thanks to collaboration with the parent, student, and UnmaskEd we opened doors they never would have known to be possible. We can now work on learning to use new accommodations so that learning (and life) is accessible always. Taking the time to ask "why" and investigate it instead of labeling this brilliant and bright student as noncompliant made all the difference.